The controversy about Gatekeeping

Lately I've been listening to alot of podcasts, YouTube interviews and reading posts about the topic of gatekeeping.

Yet another thing that ruffles the feathers of many a Witch. The argument being that it's egotistical and controlling to have knowledge and information that you're unwilling to share. That this knowledge and information is dangled in front of others that want to learn, like a carrot.

That these elders, teachers, are gatekeeping and trying to hold the power to decide who can and who can not be a Witch and who can and can not be taught any knowledge or information from them.

And, for this and I'm sure more, these teachers are being accused as being gatekeepers, Narcissistic and many more dubious things.

Many of the Witches that are up in arms argue that everyone has the right to occult knowledge and information and they ask what is the harm in this? Making light of it, they ask if the gatekeepers are afraid that the seeker will spill some wax or hurt themsleves with a spell performed in the wrong moon phase?

Well, at the risk of being called a gatekeeper myself, and in this case, I don't care, let me answer that:

Unless you've experienced toxic people that have behavioral patterns of Malignant Narcissism and/or Sociopathy, of course you wouldn't understand the very real need to gatekeep in this way.

Part of a Witches superpower should be discernment. Most of us don't do hexing or cursing unless we've discerned through various ways if what we're considering doing is justified or not. Why should discerning people be any different?

And unless you're a spiritual bypassing perpetual positivity New ager, or living under a rock, you should also realize the reality that there are many people in this world that crave power and control and also protection from their perceived enemies. Enemies that they make themselves out of their own pathological envy and jealousy. Enemies that they create faux competitions with. Their proclaimed enemies that have done nothing to them except for being more than them in any way, or having more than them. Or distancing themselves from their toxicity. Which always feels like rejection to a toxic individual.

These are people that can't be reasoned with, that live in their own delusional world of believing their own lies. Lies they'll smear you with to whoever will listen. They triangulate others against you, usually unbeknownst to you until its far too late. But if you suddenly recognize that your being avoided by some or that some won't even look at you let alone talk to you, know you're being triangulated.

But I digress.

They study who you are and then try to erase you as they take over everything about you and attempt to make it theirs. You hobbies, your skills, your talents, your quirks, your style and your personality. Maybe even your family and your significant other.

This is not just a thing that happens in the Witchcraft community. It's also rampant in the New age community. It's in every church of every religion as well. Toxic people are drawn to whatever they feel wields them power and control and serves the second purpose of hiding in plain sight.

So if you want to believe that everyone that seeks out teachers in the Witchcraft community is emotionally healthy and deserves to be taught, then that's on you. But stop shaming others that don't see it that way. And it might behoove the shamers to become a little more trauma informed.

If you've ever been in a coven that has even one toxic person, then you know the damage that can be done. Even worse if the leader is toxic.

If it's considered gatekeeping because I or other elders with enough life experience to recognize that toxic people exist and the damage they can do, refuse to give our knowledge or information to someone thats been discerned to be toxic, then so be it!

And if other Witches want to shame me or other's for enacting self preservation by being cautious and selective of who we will and will not teach, then so be that too!

I will not automatically teach anyone. Not even for all the money in the world. Never did and won't start to now just because it's deemed politically incorrect and gatekeeping to decide who I will teach or not teach.

And what I also won't do, is allow other Witches to define what mine or any other Witches problem is for why we gatekeep.

Did you ever think that maybe it's not for ego reasons in every case of gatekeeping?

Here's a true story for you:

Back in the 1980's, there was a female that wanted me to teach her. Infact she positioned herself in my life and love bombed me hoping I'd do so. That was her entire agenda for befriending me.

Soon after, she would tell me that her 2 friends didn't like me and she didn't know why. I found out later she knew exactly why. She was telling them that I didn't

like them and other lies. She obviously didn't want to share me. Or to have anyone comparing notes on her.

I started feeling like I had to make boundries with her which she promptly broke everytime. She did some very devious things to attempt to hurt me. Obviously she was toxic. I tried to communicate that her behaviors were less than acceptable. And then I was accused of trying to put her under a microscope. And of course, her behaviors didn't stop, nor did they change.

At the time, my own teacher warned me not to teach her anything. That she'd take what I taught her and use it against me. And I agreed. A good teacher will tell you to never give all of your knowledge and secrets away.

So I ultimately rejected her as a student and then later as anyone I even wanted in my life. Which caused all of her pathology to come to the surface and she's been stalking me and harrassing me for over 25 years. Is this someone that I should have given my knowledge and information to?

No. And its apparent that my discernment of her was spot on!

She went on to have other teachers refuse her and now lies that she's has several teachers and says that a woman that used to run a Botanica was her teacher and spiritual Godmother. This woman that's dead that practices Santeria only ever sold her candles and taught her how to make a petition paper. Her family disavow this claim that's an obvious lie.

This is some of the danger of teaching people that are toxic. They seek knowledgeand power to control and threaten others. Even when their power is fictional and made up.

I should mention that she even tried to go over my head and love bombed my own teacher, grilling her for information about me and trying to get her to teach her. Luckily my wise teacher saw through her before she ever met her and gave her the punishment she deserved.

There are indeed legitimate reasons to not just give your knowledge or information to anyone without discerning their behavioral patterns and personality.

It's not just because of an ego problem or Narcissism on the part of every teacher, but the fact that many perspective students have bad intentions. Intentions to use their new found power to control and manipulate others further. To use the fear of what they could do to threaten and frighten their self made enemies that they put themselves in competition with out of envy and jealousy. To attempt to erase the very teacher that taught them so they can become a cheap imitation of them because they have no internal self.

In the end, it's up to each teacher to decide whether to teach someone or not. It should never be a given. Let's stop with the shame and blame and let people choose for themselves what they're comfortable with in the name of their own safety and self preservation.